But there is need for the proof that I am me, and that is what I look for. The unpleasant oily chill of fever overtook her body, and she watched in horror as Sebastian carried her to his bed on his shoulder like a sack of flour. The world, she discovered, with these matters barred had no particular place for her at all, nothing for her to do, except a functionless existence varied by calls, tennis, selected novels, walks, and dusting in her father’s house. Seizing her hand he covered it with kisses. “Are you going to the Vorsack’s for dinner tonight?” “Yes, I think I’ll stop by. She gazed with a quiet detachment toward the window and the Oxford Street traffic, and in her heart she was busy kicking this man to death. The elements were wrathful as their passions. Fame of any sort was folly and she knew better. It might be that the boy had taken one drink too many, or someone had given him knock-out drops. . She wanted to think of him as her beloved person, to be near him and watch him, to have him going about, doing this and that, saying this and that, unconscious of her, while she too remained unconscious of herself.
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